


Tales from Hell: The Lives We Try to Change

by DK_Eldritch



Series: Tales from Hell: Hazbin Hotel [1]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Action, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Cannibalism, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark Comedy, Demons, Gangsters, Hell, Original Character(s), Other, Redemption, Sexual Humor, Sharks, Shooting Guns, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-16 09:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21505969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DK_Eldritch/pseuds/DK_Eldritch
Summary: After weeks of no patients, a runaway named Marie stumbles into the hotel seeking escape from her vengeful boss. Can Charlie create her first redemption? Meanwhile Alastor leaves the hotel for a few days to meet old friends as well as plan out the future of the hotel.This is going to be a project I'll be working on while we wait for future episodes in the series. Consider these my fan-made episodes.
Series: Tales from Hell: Hazbin Hotel [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550146
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	Tales from Hell: The Lives We Try to Change

Episode 1:

Pentagram City, the capital of Hell itself. Its wide reaching boundary is the home of a legion of malicious spirits and its towers and spires hold a cesspool vice and violence never seen in the mortal realm. It’s population, along with the rest of Hell, is filled to the brim with sinners of all kind, so numerous and growing that heaven must slaughter a portion of all demons from hell just to curb the never ending tide. On the street level one could see gangs roam the street for territory, demon prostitutes selling themselves on the corner, well-to-do business men cutting back door deals, and the single hunted soul being chased down by relentless monsters. In one corner of this city, the old abode of the king of Hell himself, rests in relative peace as the clock struck eight in the morning. Ding, ding, ding. 

The third ding stirred Husk from his sleep. He found himself in the back of the bar, presumably having blacked out, seeing how half the stock of alcohol was missing. He pulled himself up with a splitting headache as bottles fell off him. His poker suited wings made the situation worse. As the cat demon groaned and swore to the morning he heard a familiar voice down the hall. The silent halls brimmed to life with the scratchy humming of a cheerful Alastor, walking as if he didn’t hear the commotion.

“Top of the morning to you Husker,” he said, his voice distorted by a radio effect. “Did you enjoy the night shift?”

“Ugh, fuck off.” Husker got a grip and pulled himself to his feet. “I don’t know why I gotta stay up all night. Nobody’s shown up in weeks.”

“No one?”

“No one.” Husk thought about it for a second. “Well the pink freak brought someone in but, you know. No one important.”

Alastor blinked. “Yes I’ll have to agree there. No matter! I’ll see what I can do so I’ll be gone for a couple of days. If anything exciting happens, you know where to call me.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Husk replied and Alastor walked out. 

Husk found his bar stool and opened up the booze cabinet, which filled back up when he wasn’t looking. He was halfway through pulling the cork out of a wine bottle when a knock was heard at the door. Husk ignored it. If it was important they’d come in. So a second later she barged in. She was a tall blue and white dame with hair full of tentacles and a couple of duffel bags to her name. She slammed the door behind her and sank to the floor in a deep breathing heap.

“You, ah, hmm.” Husk snapped his fingers trying to remember the line. “Ah fuck it.”

The woman dragged herself up to him. “You, old guy. Hide me. I’m being followed.”

“So?” Husk got the cork off and drank.

“Please,” she begged. “This is the home of the Princess of Hell right? She likes protecting her people? I’m people. Get her down here now!”

Husk gave himself three seconds to down the wine before considering the thought. She looked absolutely pitiful, quivering. Something gave way in his heart and he got up and walked to the stairs.

“Oi princess, we have a guest,” he said. 

He used his normal speaking voice and Charlie’s room was near the top of the tower. Nonetheless they could hear her squeal approaching like an oncoming train. When she hit the bottom floor she was still dressed in her nightgown but she was full of smiles and stars and puppies and rainbows at the sight of this uncomfortable, unclean lady.

“Oh my gosh, thank you for coming! It’s been so long since someone came,” she cheered before sobbing. “Please let me take your things and we’ll get you settled in no time!”

“Ah, no please. Let me take my bags,” she replied. A bang at the door shocked the life out of her. “Oh shit he’s here! Hide me somewhere!”

Charlie freaked out trying to find a hiding spot until she said fuck it and stuffed her guest into an empty vase near the stairs. Right on cue the door busted down and a shark demon stomped his way in, teeth bared and ready.

“Where is she?” he roared. “Where’s that bitch Marie around here?”

“Oh uh, the blue haired girl?” Charlie blurted. The demon towered over her. “Uh, yeah. She went out the back door. Right down there.”

The demon gave her a hint of skepticism but he went along with it and passed through the hotel in a huff. As soon as the coast was clear the lady wriggled her way out of the vase with a sigh of relief.

“Whew thanks for that,” she gasped. “Almost ate it there.”

“Why was that guy chasing you?” Charlie asked. She caught Vaggie coming down the stairs fully dressed. “Are you in trouble?”

Marie sighed. “Yeah, he’s a member of the Street Shark Gang. They’re mad at me because I decided not to work for them anymore so, I ran. I’m just trying to find a place where I can lay low for a bit. Hell isn’t as big right?”

Vaggie looked over the lady. “So you think we can protect you?” she asked. “What if they come back? We can’t take on a whole gang by ourselves.”

“Please, I’ll do anything.” Marie put her hands on the ground. “Whatever you want I’ll commit to it as long as it keeps me away from those fucks.”

“You know,” Charlie said, sparks glowing behind her. “There is one possible way to escape violent gangsters. Would it be a one way ticket to heaven?”

“Yeah right.” Marie waited for the princess to drop it. “Are, are you for real?”

“Is that a face that would lie to you?” Vaggie quipped.

“Trust me Marie.” Charlie reached out and reeled her in. “Just give me a few weeks and you’ll be on a ticket to a happier place. All you have to do is be a good person.”

“Really?” She gave it a moment to think. “Sure, why not? I’ll move right in. Where are my bags?”

“Already handled.” Charlie snapped her fingers. Her servants Razzle and Dazzle grabbed the bag straps with their teeth and dragged them up the stairs. They were unusually heavy. “I’ll have you in room nine from now on. Now, let me show you around!”

Charlie dragged her away while Vaggie stood there struck. It was strange. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. “Huh, well would you look at that. We actually have work.”

A second later the shark demon burst back into the lobby. “There’s no back door to this place!” Vaggie could only frown at such bullshit.

Later in the morning when everyone woke up breakfast was served. Niffty, the hotel’s cook, had completed a table of five in seconds and were all faced with a very traditional breakfast. Marie stared at her meal. “Bacon and eggs huh? Pretty blasé shit here. Where’d you even get these eggs?”

“Don’t ask,” Vaggie answered.

“Huh. Can I have some cereal instead?”

“Ask Niffty politely if you want anything else,” Charlie said, eating with proper table manners.

“Sure.” Niffty was next to her before she turned around. “Oh, uh yeah, pipsqueak, fetch me a bowl of Krunchy Krokodil why don’t you?”

“Krunchy what?” Niffty asked. “That’s a weird thing to call cereal.”

“Hey!” Charlie stood up at the table. “No drugs for breakfast. And no names. You will address her by her name.”

“But I always eat that for breakfast.” She pointed at Husk sitting opposite of her. “And what d’you mean no drugs? Tomcat’s drinking at the table right now.”

Charlie gave Husk the lion’s glare. He hid his bottle under the table. Outside the dining room Angel Dust said goodbye to some stranger who slapped him on the ass in response.

“And that whore is using this place as a brothel?” Marie added.

“Ugh, just ignore them.” Charlie said. “The point is that you should worry about bettering yourself. Only you can find the good in yourself. Here, let me teach you how to do some proper table manners.”

“Doing what on tables?” Angel Dust asked walking in. “Holy shit it’s Marie. Haha, look what the cat dragged in. What are you doing here? You’re not here for the free room too are you?”

“Oh look it’s Spider Queer. Haven’t heard from you since you went gun crazy at one of our safe houses. What’re you doing here?”

“Oh you know, just getting some good-.” He noted Vaggie’s and Charlie’s glare. “Wholesome, non-problematic bullshit...staying out of trouble. Eh, yeah, so what’d you do to piss off Fish Dick this time?”

“Oh you see I-...didn’t really do anything.” Marie’s face drooped. “I’m just so tired. I’ve been working for that bastard Creech for years now. The drugs, the killing the whoring around. It’s been what, forty years? I don’t see how anyone can keep up this life for that long. I want to do something respectable, creative! Anything to shake up this horrid monotony. Don’t you feel the same way?”

“Nope,” Angel shrugged. “And where’s all this tired shit coming from? C’mon where’s that brutal cunning you’ve got stashed away?”

“I’m done with that, okay!?” Marie slammed her fist on the table. Angel remained unfazed. “I don’t have to answer to you. Only if the Princess does.”

Angel surveyed the crowd. The help weren’t listening at all and Vaggie looked like she was leaning toward his favor, but Charlie? There are many things that excite her, many words that make her explode. Marie was hitting all the right words.

“This is going to be great!” Charlie cheered. “Oh, but there is so much to teach you. You’re so...demon-ey. We’ll have to go through the basics of everything sweet and nice. I can’t wait to show you my curriculum!”

“Yeah have fun with that,” Angel while grabbing his breakfast. “I’m off to work. See ya around toots, if you’re still here of course.”

As he left Vaggie and Charlie turned to Marie. She was nervous, a spinning ball of distrust and anxiety, but after a second she solidified in a state of iron determination. “Alright, let’s do this.”

Somewhere on the other side of town, Alastor had a winning hand of cards on the table. The table roared at the reveal and poker chips spilt everywhere. 

“Hahaha, what a performance!” he laughed, pooling in his winnings with a snap. “So who’s up for another round. I have all day for this! By the way Jeffrey this stew is fantastic! What’s you secret?”

“It’s all in the spices and the meats,” Jeffrey Dahmer said. “I got some help from the next door neighbor if you know what I’m saying.”

“Even better!” Alastor kept eating. “So Felipe, where have you been the past decade? I swore you up and died a few exterminations ago.”

The giant gator man tilted his head in. “I got locked in a basement for ten years and got used as a can opener by Joey the Hammer. He got careless and I kicked his ass so hard he’s in four different spots across the pentagram.”

“That’s insanity! I wouldn’t expect anything less. I have, no idea who Joe is.”

“Neither do I.” Felipe took a drink. “So what’s this business all about Al? What d’you want from us?”

“My friends I am in the middle of an investment with the Princess of Hell. I want your boys’ assistance in making this hotel business a success. I want you to find some interesting fellows to send their way.”

“Like, thugs?”

“Nuh uh uh. Just people you think would be right for the job.”

“Alright,” Jeffrey took a spoonful of his stew. “But, like, what’s the point? You just want freaks to show up?”

“Gentlemen I am a patience man but I know a thing or two about markets. This girl’s project is dead on arrival, so I want to get the ball rolling to how the opening moves.”

“And you want us because?”

“Consider it an investment as well. After all its not entertaining if you’re putting too much control on the show. I’m sure you gentlemen will do a crack job.”

“Alright Al,” Felipe cocked an eye. “We may be pals but we’re not free.”

“Are you sure about that?” Before the two of them knew it, their chips were back in place with some of Alastor’s. 

It was late at night and Charlie tucked Marie into bed. “And we go to bed at Eleven to get a good night’s rest.” Charlie said. “So what d’you think?”

Marie lied there staring at the ceiling, scarred and confused. In her decades of living in pentagram city she had done every vile act known to man and demon, but this was particularly humiliating. She spent hours in time out, faced discipline for the most minor infractions, talked down to like some kindergartner. She was properly cleaned up, modest and cute and her withdrawal symptoms were in full effect. She took a deep sigh.

“Yeah, that was,” Marie tried to not swear. “Something. Thank you.”

“Anything for a patient. Keep this up and you’ll be full of sunshine and rainbows.”

“Right.” Marie stirred in he bed. “Um, Charlie? Have you ever seen an angel before?”

Charlie sat on her bed. “Yeah, of course I have.”

“And have you met a human before?”

“No, I haven’t.” Her head drooped. “But how different could they be right? After all you used to be a human.”

“Right.” Marie turned over and closed her eyes. “Good night Charlie.”

“Good night Marie.” Charlie turned off the lights and went back up to her room.

“So you think it went alright?” Vaggie asked. “It looks like you need some work.”

“It’ll be alright,” Charlie said as she got into her nightgown. “It’ll take some time but I know we’ll pull her through this. I mean, we have all the time we need.”

The next morning Charlie woke up at eight and went downstairs to find Marie gone with her window wide open. The sight sunk Charlie’s heart. She lasted one day. Something was amiss in all this but she couldn’t tell what it was. Then, in the faintest echo across the hotel, she heard a knock at the door.

“Uh, Prin-.” Husk started, but she was already down the stairs by then. When she gazed at the front door she saw Marie with three other girls, all as rough as she looked the day before. They all had full bags on them as well.

“Sorry for getting out of bed early but,” Marie said. “I wanted to help my friends out too. Boss didn’t take too kindly to me escaping so they were trouble too.”

Charlie’s heart swelled. “You’re all welcome to join us. I’m so happy to see you all. Thank you Marie.”

“Hey, it’s the right thing to do right?” She gave a toothy grin.

Charlie’s servants showed the new girls the way while Marie gave the run down of what was happening back at base. Some bastards had been skimming off the top of Boss Creech’s Angel Dust supply and the Boss didn’t have a hint at who it was. For some reason he suspected her of stealing the supply and sought to reprimand her, which triggered her desire to leave the gang. The girls, Mako, Blue and Ellie were under her command so their lives were her responsibility.

“Say no more,” Charlie grinned. “I’m sure none of them would think of looking for them here.”

“Thank you so much Charlie.” She hugged her. “Hell knows why you still live down here.”

Charlie took that in for a second but then brushed it off. The day went on and proved to be smoother than before. The young women followed Charlie’s instructions to the letter. Crafts were made. The red walls of the Happy Hotel was plastered with fun and creative drawings. Their contents were suspect but baby steps. Charlie showed everyone the library near the lobby and showed them stories of good and righteous virtue like the ones she read as a child. 

When Angel Dust walked in that evening he found the place eerily empty with the lights turned off. “Hey, who didn’t pay the bills?” he asked to no one. He heard some chuckling coming from the kitchen, and when he walked in he was surprised to see a bunch of drug dealers and hookers helping Niffty with dinner.

“So you take the broth and bring it to a broil,” Niffty explained at breakneck speed. “Then you grab the bed crumbs and the ketchup and the chopped onions,” she wiped her eye. “And then you mix in the sauces and then you grab the meat and you stabby stab stabity STAB STAB STAB into little cutlets and then-.”

Vaggie was watching from a distance and caught Angel’s attention. He leaned into the room.

“You ah, sure she’s got it under control?” Angel asked. “If she’s not careful those broads’ll stuff her like a fucking tuna can.”

“Shut up,” Vaggie replied. “Things are going right for us right now, I think.”

“You better be thinking. I’ve worked with babes like these. Playing nice or not they’re still backstabbing gill gals. Might be profitable to cut them off while we can. What d’you think?”

Vaggie squinted. “Alright, what have you heard?”

“Oh nothing, just that Creechy boy has a bounty on all four of them. Pays a pretty penny if you drop info on them.”

“You wouldn’t fucking dare.”

“Oh you bet I would short stuff.” Angel laughed, but it died out as he watched Charlie have a good time. “Ha, they’d probably skewer me before taking a call from me. But, y’know, if anyone gets word of this this hotel will be next on Hell’s Top gangbanger gangbangs right?”

“That’s not going to happen.” She had her eyes on him, but for now, everything was fine.

Eight A.M., third day. Husk walked down from his room this time and eyed the area. Nothing was out of place. The air was quiet. Nobody had gone into the bar all night. Chances were nobody was going to bother him all morning, so he took one step forward and got blindsided by the door. By the time he got the door off him a nice helping of bullets shot through the opening, causing him to duck and dodge behind a pillar. A loudspeaker whined into action.

“Attention, bitches,” the shark man yelled. The grounds were packed with a small army of goons armed to the teeth. “We have the hotel surrounded. Get your asses out of there or we’ll bury the fucking place.”

Charlie and Vaggie stared our their windows in complete disbelief. Well, Charlie was in disbelief. Vaggie had her spear on hand in a flash. “I’m going down there.”

“No Vaggie it’s too dangerous,” Charlie said. “Maybe we can talk this over.”

“Also to the Princess looking out the window,” said the gang member. “We’d like to have a discussion with you.”

“See? Talk things over.”

The two rushed downstairs fully dressed. They didn’t hear a peep from anyone else on the way down. Chances were they were hiding or they already slipped away, but that wasn’t important. The hit the bottom floor and found Husk.

“Uh, Husk,” Vaggie noted. “You realized your wings are full of holes right?”

The demon looked and blinked. “Fuck off, I can’t fit all of myself back here. Anyone have a gun?”

“No need. We’re solving this problem here.” The two reached the door and hid around the corner near the entrance. 

“Ah yes?” Charlie poked her head out the door. “Is there something that you want?”

“What do we want?” One of the goons dropped a suitcase with a small fortune inside. “We have your tip off money. You know, for the girls you have stowed in the hotel?”

“Angel you jackass!” Vaggie whispered, making sure he heard it. “He’s trying to kill us all!”

“Anyway,” said the shark man, as he readied his pistol. “You’re gonna have to bounce before we blow this place away. Don’t wanna get on the head honcho’s bad side right?”

“Vaggie what are we gonna do?” By the time Charlie finished saying that, a cling could be heard in the background, followed by a clung and a roll. A grenade fell onto the lobby floor and as if by natural instinct Husk snatched the grenade and lobbed it in a random direction. That direction was the bar, and the bar exploded.

“Fucking why!?” he cried.

The Street Sharks had a moment of confusion until an explosion annihilated part of their ranks. Suppression fire sparked from one of the hotel windows and launched grenades indiscriminately into the crowd. Machine gun fire opened up from another window, and then another. Gas was launched into the throng and scattered the men until hidden explosives blew them to bits and covered the survivors with fish paste. 

Charlie watched in absolute horror. “Why are there landmines in my hotel garden!?” she shrieked. 

From one of the open windows, Marie emerged guns blazing with her hair holding four machine guns at once. “How do you like this boys!?”

“Oh shit it’s her. Don’t let her get away!” the mobster tried to open fire but a volley of shots ripped through him like it was nothing. A blaze of bullets roared through the hotel lobby.”

“’Ey what the fuck is going on here!?” Angel dove down into the fray and met the others in the lobby. “Who called these chumps in?”

“Wait, you didn’t call them.” Vaggie asked.

“Are you kidding? That’s a good way to put my ass on a platter. I was joking.”

The gunfight raged across the hotel lawn. They had the advantage in numbers but they had no defense and were being blown away by devastating firepower. Through all of the confusion and mounting bodies a limousine rolled up with return fire and the boss Creech disembarked from his ride with a Tommy gun in hand. “What the fuck do I pay you guys for?” he barked. “Get in there and get my product back!”

The remaining twenty or so goons charged the front entrance with guns reloaded. As they got closer two of the fish girls emerged from the staircase and dropped more grenades into the lobby, scattering the staff everywhere. Vaggie covered herself over Charlie and dragged her behind the couch. Husk and Angel were blown back into the bar and left in a daze. Husk lifted his arm and beckoned toward Angel. 

“Not a good time to drink fuzzball.” Angel asked, incredulous.

“No you idiot. Give me a machine gun. I know you have more than one.”

“Always more than one.” Angel sprouted four of them. 

Husk took one and kissed it. “Back into the fray old friend.”

The charge burst through the front door and swarmed across the lobby while the four girls counter-charged down the stairs in full wargear. The hotel became a charnel house as the place grew hazy with smoke, muzzle flashes and blood dripping all over the walls. Everybody was screaming. Everybody was panicking.

Meanwhile Alastor was having another drink at a random club after staying the whole night. The young fox demon managing the bar had lost count of the tab. “Uh, you sure you want me to keep going Mr. Al?”

“Absolutely my dear,” he slurred while holding his posture. “I’ve been at a slow pace for the past four hours, eh what?”

The flat screen tv overlooking the bar blared the breaking news jingle. “This is 666 news.”

“Good morning brothers this is Gene Overloader.” The man was a giant barely contained in a three piece suit. “Word has just come in about a full on gunfight in the Happy Hotel with the Street Sharks wreaking havoc on the Princess of Hell’s territory and look at that! Look at that! Some hot tamale just launched one of the shark out a window. Sweet Fucking Jesus she broke ‘em in half! It’s absolute havoc on this side of the pentagram.”

Alastor watched it for a minute while his hands reached for a rotary phone. His first call didn’t patch through so he went for the second.

“Niffty dear,” Alastor asked. “Do you know where Husk is?”

“Hi Al, can’t talk.”she answered “New friends are making a mess. Gotta put some pillars back together. I may have stabbed a few people. Charlie’s goats are-.”

“Now now enough of that Niffty. Husk isn’t answering so could you take the camera and film what’s happening?”

“I would, but I don’t have a camer-wait here’s one. Weird how it got here. How does it work? Oh if I crank the lever it takes pictures!”

Several of the shark men made a dash toward the traitors guns blazing but the girls put themselves in a well defended position and returned with a rocket launcher that blew chunks out of most of them. The last one standing got tackled by the eel girl that gave him an electric shock so powerful he ruptured and burst into a thousand pieces. 

“Hey Sis we’re running out of target practice,” one of them yelled at. “Should we finish this party with a bang?”

They all had to duck as a shotgun blew right over their heads. “You cunts think you can just mess around with my men!?” Boss Creech roared. “Wait until I got my teeth bitin’ down on your fucking skulls!”

The answer was received with smoke grenades that choked out the room. Alone the boss shot into the mist, trying to get a lucky shot on the enemy. Vaggie ran back and found Charlie. Both of them were worse for wear but were alive. “Maybe we should get out of here.” Vaggie insisted.

“But Vaggie my patients they’re in danger.”

“They are the danger. Let’s bail.” She took her by the hand and snuck her to the entrance where the boys were sneaking toward as well. 

“Oh boss,” one of the girls sang, her voice like a spirit. “Not so tough when you’re on your own.”

“And so scared.”

“To think we considered you a decent boss.”

“I think your territory would work a lot nicer in our hands.” Marie whispered, causing the boss to spin around and fire into the mist. The tension was as thick as the fog and the boss cursed at the girls. “Oh you think you’re some big shots aren’t ya? We’ll see what you think after I fu-!” 

Creech almost stumbled over as his foot stepped on a hefty package of high intensity explosives. The look on his face was priceless. The whole lobby went kaboom, blowing out all of the windows and launching Niffty into a nearby tree. The escaping staff were propelled by the force of the fire out from the canopy and into the yard, smacking and rolling into each other along the way. 

When Charlie came to she was met with a machine gun to the mouth. “Open wide.” Charlie batted it away before Marie fired, but she was met with the other four guns. “Stay still you little bitch!” She tried to pull her by the hair but Charlie knocked her back.

“Marie, this isn’t funny.” Charlie got back to her feet. “Stop this now and we can put this all behind us.”

“A bit late for that isn’t it?” She motioned her comrades to take care of the rest of them. “I’m done with you and my boss so could you please fuck off and die?”

“I thought you wanted to change. What happened that made you do all this? Was it me? If I did something wrong I’m sorry.”

“I can’t fucking believe you would say that.” Marie closed her eyes for a second, letting out a long breath. Before Charlie could react she was blown away by a burst of machine gun fire. “You are as dumb and naive as you are insufferable. It’d be so fucking laughable if it wasn’t so disgusting, what with your little ‘treatments’!” As she laughed she let out another flurry of bullets that peppered Charlie’s writhing body, causing her to scream. Marie’s guns went dry. “To be honest, even if I did want to be good person I’d still do this to you anyways. Really goes to show how clueless you- huh?”

Marie felt out for extra drums but they were missing. In the corner of her eye she saw the goat boys with an entire stack of them, having nicked them from the entire group. While they were confused Vaggie regained consciousness and tackled one of the girls to the ground while the other two got a helping of Angel’s baseball bat. Vaggie downed the broad in four blows before catching a sight of Charlie and flying into a rage. She dived onto Marie and got a fist in but was caught by her extended hair. She manifested her spear and sliced the assaulting hair clean off, leaving the octopus in unexpected pain.

“Jesus fucking hell what is that thing made of!?” she cursed, dropping her guns in the process. “Dammit!”

Marie froze as a guttural laugh haunted her eardrums. She watched Charlie, previously bleeding out on the front lawn, get back up walk forward without a hint of pain. “Hey Marie, you asked why I haven’t gone to heaven yet? Here’s the answer.” 

Marie backed away as a pair of horns tore through the princess’s head. She backed away but she bumped into a solid mass of muscle and bone. A pair of hulking goat demons had greeted her, and as they held her they forced her to watch as their master tore away her kind rosy cheeked exterior and revealed the true form hidden behind her powers. She screamed.

When Alastor returned an hour later a scene had gathered around the hotel entrance. News was reporting the incident on multiple channels and Husk and Niffty were holding them back.

“So the gangsters were like, ‘rawr!’ And Angel was like pachew pachew pachew!” Niffty explained. “And then Husk was like ‘why does this always happen to me?’’

“Haha, real cute kid,” he moped. “The point is go the fuck away.”

Angel was over by the car stuffing the back trunk full of bound up fish girls. The fear on their face was not hard to discern. “Buh bye girls. Hope your new boss doesn’t turn you to sushi.” Angel grinned and closed the trunk. He handed a paper over to the goat boys. “Just dump ‘em here. I know a guy who’ll love ‘em. Thanks for the save boys.” As the limousine drove off Angel rubbed his hands together. There was loot to be gathered upstairs. “Jackpot!”

As Alastor surveyed the ruins of the hotel he found the place in utter shambles and figured that that wouldn’t do, so he twisted his hand and everything returned to normal. Mostly. There were some spots his memory was foggy about. When he reached the entrance Vaggie was caring for Charlie at the door.

“Hello my two darlings!” Alastor said. “I saw your brawl and you did not disappoint!”

“Fuck off Alastor.” Vaggie replied. “We’re not in the mood right now.”

“Ha! Suit yourself.” He strolled back inside to look for Niffty. Besides, why interrupt such a good time?

Charlie buried her face into her hands. “Vaggie,” she asked. “Am I a good teacher? Can I really rehabilitate a demon?”

Vaggie rubbed her back. “No one said this would be easy. We just have to keep trying until it works, and I’ll be there for you.”

Charlie sniffed. “Thanks.”

The tv crew and bystanders left not long after, and everything returned to normal. Not a single soul passed through the doors that day, and the same six demons went to bed like they’ve always done before. That night Alastor watched the footage Niffty caught and pulled out his rotary phone on his desk.

“Felipe, change of plans,” he said. “I don’t think we need to do anything now. I’ll just see how it plays out.”

“Are you sure?” Felipe asked. “I already have a list. Want me to get rid of it?”

“Ah you know what? Keep it.” Alastor laughed. “After all, why ruin a good time?”


End file.
